So I knew last year that my driver’s license was going to expire on my birthday.

Who is going to try to renew their license 2 days after Christmas??!!! What! I know you can renew up to 6mos in advance. . . but I didn’t want to be a person who’s actually on top of their shit. That’s just ridiculous!!!

So what do I do instead?? Plan a weekend trip to Cali and then wait to the last possible moment to get my license renewed. Feel free to sit back and laugh because I deserve it for damn sure.

The day before the flight, I remembered that I need a valid license to fly. Oh shit. . . well gosh thanks to the law change, I need to get my birth certificate, ssn card, and if I have an address change I need two proofs of my address.

I fly out of my office yesterday to go home to rummage through my files frantically looking for my birth certificate. I found the boy’s. . .but I couldn’t find mine. So I head down town to Utah Dept. of Health. No problem.

My dad calls me while I’m heading to the DMV and I noticed on my birth certificate, it stated that Mom was 22 when she had me. Dad was 38. . . that means he robbed the cradle!!!! So I asked him about it. Do ya’ll know how my parents met?

How my Parent’s met:
My dad was fighting on the side of the US in the Vietnam War. He’s got this wicked scar from a knife fight on his leg. Well after they lost the war, he was able to come to America. (now this is his words not mine) While he was boarding the boat, he saw my mom, she was kind of cute so he asked her if she wanted to go to America with him. If she did then he would come to America first and get a job. Once he got a job, he’d save enough to bring her here. And what girl in a war torn country would say no to that. So after a couple months my dad was able to get all the paperwork done to bring my mom over. They go married. They got prego. And here I am.

So I asked Dad about my birth certificate and he said there’s no way he married a 22yr old. She was way older than that when she had me. To which i was like, she could of lied. . .about her age. But why would she lie about being older, you usually lie about being younger.

But I did call my dad a cradle robber and we had a good laugh about it.

Back to the DMV drama. . .

I get to the DMV at 5pm and I’m already behind like 30 ppl waiting to get a number. At 5:20, they say, “We are no longer handing out numbers. There are people with numbers that might not even get served today.” At this point I’m freaking out and stay in line in hopes that I’m somehow special because I’m the one who left it to the very last day possible to get a license renewed to fly the next day. I got the front of the line and the lady informed me that ONE DMV is open tomorrow @ 7am since they have so many people to serve.

I woke up this morning at 5am.
Showered
And got on the road by 6:10am
Got a coffee
Arrived at the DMV
20th Person in line by 6:20
Got in at 7am
Took a written test at 7:20
92% Passing (missed 2 questions. . . which after I reviewed it made sense why I missed it)
Got a Temporary license til my new one arrives in 3 weeks.
Get to travel without being hasselled by the man. . . not priceless, PAINFUL!

in the garden is the snail.

This year, it seems like it’s worse than any other.

One day, after Brad mowed our backyard, I swear 50 snails came up out of the grass to see what all the noise was about. I went though the yard and picked up every last one of their disgusting little bodies and they went in the trashcan.

I need to sprinkle some nice snail killer on the lawn like confetti on a cake. . .

On Saturday, after watering my plant bed two snails were out for a stroll which was their first mistake. Their second was being noticed by me. Their third was Brad was outside with me. . . and their fourth being our friends were leaving at that same time. What did Brad end up doing??? Putting the two under the tires of Carolyn & Erik’s car which resulted in an instant kill (sorry for the formatting):

Oh if PETA saw this post they would be all over our asses!

Ppl who answer the phone by speaker are just plain annoying – STOP BEING LAZY AND PICK UP THE RECEIVER JACKASS!

Argh!